His Good Life for us.....

   Ever since I could remember, I loved to talk. LOL And if you were a FaceBook or Twitter or Myspace friend of mine before you already know via my status, I like to express myself no matter how ratchet, crazy, random or clueless it was. But recently, I’ve begun to notice that a lot of my ranting and raving was being noticed by a lot of people. Not to mention after recently finding my way back to the Lord, there have been more people contacting me to learn more about my story, get a better understanding of God through my own experiences, and just actually paying attention to lil ole me and my positive thoughts. Ever since I was younger, I have always been in the center of each social group, I was everyone’s friend. So if one group didn’t get where I was coming from, the next did and vice versa. But it wasn’t until a good week or so ago, I realized I wasn’t saying anything at all. Weird right? Well, as much as I would post little messages, thoughts, scriptures…..I was only giving people a taste of the surplus of knowledge and wisdom that God bestowed upon me to share with my friends and family whom might have needed it. I always talked about the latest shoes that came out, hottest single playing on the radio, what’s going on with the housewives of Atlanta…blah blah blah…and I would go into detail about it too. But I never went into detail about my Lord! L I basically went against his wishes. My selfishness of keeping the word to myself. My doubt in myself and thinking that I wouldn’t write anything ‘useful’ to others. Plus the fact of even thinking that I would be judged by friends and family in a negative way…these are all the things that the devil put into my head to hold me back from helping someone who might have really needed to hear what I had to say about my Lord. I want to start this blog off by say SORRY to everyone who has been waiting for this, as well as to my father in heaven. You gave me this gift….here goes nothing.

     First off let me explain something. I am by no means trying to “force convert” ANYONE! I only present what my father has given to me to share. Therefore it is your choice to read, respond and teach to others. I am not the type to use the “SIT DOWN AND LISTEN AND DON’T ASK QUESTIONS” method that a lot of “so called Christians” use to teach of my father’s word. So by all means if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to reply or comment, but let’s keep the negativity out of this place. Thanks!

Just like I mentioned earlier, I was very hesitant to write this blog. I turned to a lot of people who pushed me to do this, but after turning toward God and asking for a sign, the proof came to me one night while I was doing my daily bible study. I read this scripture about two weeks ago and this is what really motivated me to spread the word of my father amongst friends and family that I saw suffering.

“..All this is from God who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sin against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are the ambassadors as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ behalf. Be reconciled to God, God made him who had no sin to be sin for us so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Corinthians 5:18-21)

Now I know that is a lot to take in all at once, so I’ll break down some points for you. First off…let’s just flat out address the elephant in the room. EVERYONE SINS! Easy to admit right? Everyone does it on the daily, regardless if it’s recognizable or not…..SIN OCCURS EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY! No one WANTS to admit it, but then on the other hand everyone wants to wash themselves of it in the end. Quick, fast and in a hurry you whisper a small prayer and think that it’s gone…all is forgiven and forgotten right? Sorry, there is no ‘easy button’ when it comes to living the ‘good life’ that God intended for you. See the situation here isn’t that you sinned, it’s that you sinned and refuse to come before the Lord and repent…learn from your sin…and stop doing it! I know this may sound crazy, but did you know that since God created you and me….he basically KNOWS WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO BEFORE WE DO IT! 0_o yea, that’s how powerful he is. But with him knowing this…he refuses to force you to do something that you don’t want to do or don’t hold to a high importance. He sees everything, he knows where your heart is, and he wants it. He wants us to learn from our mistakes, but then come back to him for forgiveness and help.  That is why he gave up his only son for our sin.  Confused? Let’s backtrack for a second. The section of the scripture that says ‘…God made him who had no sin, to be sin for us so that in him we might become the righteousness of God’ explains it all. He already knew that we would falter and slip up, we are human. But by giving up his son….allowing him to suffer, be ridiculed, persecuted and punished to the utmost degree….as if he were a criminal….to take away and absorb our sin. He took the bullet for us, BEFORE WE EVEN EXISTED! He didn’t even know us, but loved us so much that he wanted to make sure when we were created and messed up, we would be forgiven for anything we did. Just as long as we repented and asked our father for forgiveness and changed our lives to serve him. ISNT THAT AMAZING! Would you do that for a stranger? Jesus is so amazing! Now this whole deal doesn’t just apply to us who may have a strained relationship with God, or someone who might not have gone to church in a while or prayed in a minute. This especially goes for people who are against him COMPLETELY!

          You know how a while ago people were walking around with the ‘I LOVE MY HATERS” shirts. And everyone’s status or tweet or tagline was “Hi Haters” or “Shoutout to my haters, I see ya”. I promise you if God or Jesus were walking this earth, they would have had a T-shirt made hat read the same. GOD LOOOOOOVVVEEESSS HIS ENEMEIES! Literally! The ones that don’t believe in him, throw dirt on his name, put his word through worldly test to prove he isn’t real….HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH! Why you may ask? Think about it. If you were President Obama, and you captured Osama Bin laden. The man that was responsible for millions of deaths in the states and overseas, millions of families who lost loved ones at war or in 9/11. A man responsible for so much destruction, is in your grasp and under your control, NOW WHAT? Well of course a lot of people would want to punish him the same way he punished others, but not God. See he sees potential in all of us….evil or not. God wants to change all of our hearts and spare none to his glory. See what God does is this…..he takes the nonbeliever, shows him how powerful he is. Regardless if it’s a near death experience, putting someone in that person’s life to get through to them, have them see, hear or watch something that makes everything click...then he starts his work. He will change that willing person’s whole being to the point where they have now recognized the power of Christ and want to spread the message they were given (Just like me J ). Just image Osama Bin Laden walking around praising the USA, showing his buddies how great this country is or how he wants to become alliances with the USA or how he wants to personally apologize for his crimes. Crazy right?! But that’s what happens when you are washed in the Holy Ghost, you change and see things for what they really are. Then you want to share it with others. These types of people know both sides of the fence when it comes to good and evil, and with this kind of knowledge of the enemy, they can see the devils’ weaknesses and how he controls others. They have a key to help turn others toward the Lord for help without even fearing the devil….because at one point he was their best friend! Think about it for a minute…I guarantee it will click.

Marissa and Brodie on their way to their 7th and 3rd birthday party:)
(2012)

 Now just like I said in the beginning, I am not here to convert anyone. I am just a messenger here to give you the good news. You have the choice to take it or not. But let me go a little more into detail about how taking this news can cause such major ripples in your life for the better, that it will BLOW YOUR MIND! One of my favorite movies to this day is Constantine with Keanu Reeves in it. The whole basis of the movie is that before the beginning of time the devil and God had a wager to see who can basically influence us humans the most into basically joining good or evils side. No physical persuasion, just little pushes mentally and emotionally here and there. This is what free will is…you have the choice. And every time I watch that movie I use to cry, and I never understood why. There were people in the movie who were all about God and praised him and worshipped him, but would do evil things. There were people in the movie who were pure evil, and there were people in the movie who were neutral but did good deeds here and there…but never cared. My problem back then was that I would cry because that was me…ole neutral Erin. I went to church to say “oh yea I go to church”, I had a Bible but never opened it. It sat on my coffee table…for years. I did nice things for people here and there. I was a great mom, good daughter and friend. Worked, went to school full time and opened two businesses. But I had a problem with trusting in God. I didn’t know him so how could I trust him. If something didn’t go my way, I’d always say “See this is why we don’t talk. Why can’t you just be fair to me?”. I use to blame him for EVERYTHING! From why I was late to work, why my kids wouldn’t listen to me, why I was single, why I wasn’t rich yet. I literally KNEW that he had his own personal vendetta against me. A ANTI-ERIN CAMPAIGN! Lol But it took multiple situations over the years for me to realize how much he loved me and cared for me and wanted me to come to him to be saved. #1. I had my daughter when I was only about a week into my 6month. I was on bed rest for a month prior, and when she was born she weighed almost less than two pounds, her lungs weren’t fully developed, and she wouldn’t eat. I was an emotional wreck. This was her father’s and my first child, and here we were about to lose her only hours after she came into the world. I remember that night I sat there looking at her in her incubator, smaller than my hand, with all these tubes hooked up to her….I never cried so much. But I prayed to God, if he just allowed me a chance to at least raise her up the right way….a respectable woman…especially in the church…. I would give my life to him. We walked out the hospital with my princess almost 2 weeks later and about 2 months later she was baptized in the church and I was a member of New Psalmist Baptist Church. The church I had been born into but only went because I was forced to by my mom. Now me and Marissa (my daughter) had a purpose. Unfortunately, I did backslide years later. And stopped going. But my daughter never missed a Sunday, it didn’t matter if mommy was hungover or just didn’t feel like it. I made sure her lil but was sitting in that pew with my mother….pigtails and lil mini bible in hand. Now she is 7, on the usher board and loving every day that God grants her. I eventually got back into church after I had my son (who was born on time and healthy). But I swore to myself, my kids would grow up in the church too, but I had to set the example. #2 I lost my grandfather in 2010. He was the type of man that…..smh….I can’t even describe him. He was that amazing. He was that old school type man that worked 4 jobs to provide for his family, a minister, and true gentleman. He was my father, since I never met mine, and literally the only thing holding my family together. When he passed, I remember the Friday before Thanksgiving he went for a regular doctor visit and never came back home. He was admitted hours after he went to his doctor visit with pneumonia which aggravated cancerous cells in his body that were in remission from 1995, and within a month he was gone. But before he went to his doctor visit, he gave me his car and told me to take care of it like it was my child (he loved his town car lol). I remember that over Thanksgiving break he was to meet my then boyfriend (whom was a MAJOR part in me finsing the Lord; but that’s another blog entry) for the first time to give me the A-OK for him and mine relationship. But sadly, he never got to meet him, I remember the last day with him. I got a call at work that he wasn’t going to make it through the night. I refused to go see him in the hospital after getting these horrific stories from other family members of him breaking down and crying, memory loss, having to be restrained, and his frequent sickness due to the kemo he was receiving. In my eyes, even though he was 82….my grandfather was THOR! He was my Incredibale Hulk…nothing could hurt him. He didn’t cry because he was a manly man…and manly men don’t cry! But when I got to his room….all I saw was this meek, skinny, resemblance of a man laying there in a coma, not moving, and breathing with the help of a machine. I couldn’t move when I saw him. I just broke down crying by his bedside and cursed God for this. I blamed God for everything. And even before I left my Dad in the hospital, with everyone now filling up the room to give their last respects….God talked to me directy through him that day..and I didn’t even notice because of my anger. I bent down to give my Pop Pop a last kiss….and his body jerked and he turned his head to me and kissed me on my forhead like he use to do when I was a little gurl. Everyone in the room gasped because they knew that wasn’t nothing but God letting him say his own goodbye. I chalked it up as a freak involuntary movement and left. A couple of months later my ex-boyfriend totaled my grandfather’s car in a freak accident, the same day we gave away the last of his clothing to the homeless, leaving the wrecked car as the very last possession that represented him. I remember going in my room and screaming at the top of my lungs “YOUR TAKING EVERYTHING FROM ME! WHY NOT JUST TAKE ME! YOU’RE A SELFISH GOD!” , and at that time I meant every word. It took me a good year of complete debauchery of myself to realize God’s love for me. Nonstop partying, random boyfriends, smoking, not caring about my responsibilities and just disregarding God all together..just not caring anymore about life….smh….I look back now like ‘WOW ERIN…LOOK WHAT HE BROUGHT YOU FROM’. I remember my little girl coming home from church and telling me what she learned in Sunday school and me brushing her off because I was to hungover and saying ‘if God existed, Pop Pop would still be here’. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking how blind I was. I say that to say this. He can change the most weakest of hearts, he can revive you and take you out your current depressed state and make you into a new person. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger right? ALLOW HIM TO MAKE YOU THE STRONGEST! Believe me, he works miracles. Look at me now! I was on a path were I definitely wouldn’t have made it to see 2012. But he stepped in and saved his child, me. Now it’s time for you to repay him.

          How do you do that? It’s easy, go to him. Run to him, lean on him, let him know you need him; ask him what he wants you to do. I know it sounds crazy, but believe me when you come to the Lord and flat out ask him what he wants from you….he will answer. I talk to him every day as if I am on the phone with a homegirl. Get on your face and pray to him. Don’t sit there and keep praying for a husband or a wife, or for those new Jordan’s or to be rich. Look at what he has done thus far and give thanks! I mean you are alive and reading this blog right? Be thankful he is pumping air through your lungs right now. Spend time with him daily. I literally have date nights with him where I let my kids stay at their grandmothers and I sit and talk with him for hours, I even have  journal set aside just for him where I write down my day and things I loved about it and didn’t like. I watch movies with him and read to him. We have a pretty cool relationship, and you can to. Next, you have to trust in him. Without trust all relationships fail. Trust that he has your best interest in mind, trust he will keep you safe, trust that he is with you. Because believe me, you would know if he didn’t. Next up, NOW YOU CHANGE! You’ve praised him for what he has done and what he will do for you, now it’s your turn to show him you’re serious. Re-evaluate your life, friends, relationships, goals; priorities…are they all in order to glorify him? Or yourself? Or someone else? If you are dead set on going to church on Sunday, why would you go out and binge drink the night before? Next, study his word. A lot of the time the answers we need in life…are in the Bible. You just have to look for it. I recommend getting a Bible study guide or a Life Application Bible, I swear by mines! And finally, STICK WITH IT! They say it’s’ psychologically proven’ that it takes 30 days to break or start a habit. That’s a lie, if you want to stop doing something that is harming your life…..STOP DOING IT FOOL! Lol It’s simple as that. You want to start living the good life that he has planned for you…then you have to stop living the life that YOU planned for yourself. Trust and believe…life gets easier once you give it to Christ to take care of. I hope you enjoyed this “introduction” to my new blog. I will try to post regularly but stay tuned for more great positive post to come! God Bless!